Conversations Kill

Stone Temple Pilots came on the music scene when I was in college and quickly became one of my favorite bands. STP sold 40 million albums worldwide in the 90’s.

I have a long list of favorites that I still listen to today including, “Plush“, “Interstate Love Song“, “Creep“, “Crackerman“, “Sex Type Thing“, “Sin“, and none have more energy than “Trippin’ on a hole in a paper heart“. If you’ve never heard that one and you decide to listen my advice is to turn it up LOUD!

I could go on but my favorite STP song is called “Big Empty“. There’s a lyric in that song that says, “Conversations kill“. That lyric has always struck me for some reason, even before I became a mindset coach and trainer.

Conversations can be tough for me. I don’t like confrontation and sometimes we have to have tough conversations. It’s a part of life. Tough conversations with bosses, employees, coworkers. Tough conversations with spouses, partners, kids. Tough conversations with friends. These can all be difficult depending on the subject, and can kill our relationships depending on how they go!

The more people I talk to through my practice I realize that I am not the only one who feels this way. In fact I’d say a majority of people that I talk to would agree. I even had one person tell me he’d rather get into a physical fight with a stranger than have to have a tough conversation with a subordinate. WOW!

But you know which conversations kill the most? The ones that kill the most are conversations we may not even realize we are having. I am talking about the conversations we are having with ourselves. You know the ones:

  • I’m not asking for a raise! I don’t deserve it!
  • I’d never get that promotion!
  • He/she is just smarter than me!
  • I’m too tired to do it!
  • That looks cool but I could NEVER do that!
  • That person would NEVER have dinner with me!
  • And so on, and so on, and so on!

Scientists estimate we have between 50,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day and up to 85% of those thoughts are negative. Up to 95% of those negative thoughts are repeating thought patterns we have on a daily basis. All those negative thoughts are basically conversations that we are having with ourselves (self-talk) that crush our performance and hold us back from living our best life.

I do have good news though! Once you realize you are having these negative conversations you have the power to change them to positive, empowering conversations that will enhance your performance and allow you to become the best version of yourself.

I’m going to share that 4 Step Process in my next article so stay tuned! If you’d like to talk through that process or if I can help you in any other way please take advantage of a FREE two hour strategy session I’m offering by clicking here!

And finally I leave you with Stone Temple Pilots and “Big Empty“. Enjoy!

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